I lost about ten pounds the first two weeks, ya just don't feel much like eating. I break out crying, for no reason, in the middle of the day... A major part of my life, 15 years worth of it, has just been yanked out from under me.

I'm scared. The doors are all locked, the fence is chained, and I'm still afraid of being broken in on, at any moment, to be arrested...And for what? What did I do???

I can't get them to tell me much about what is going on. I'm only given single page notices to appear. I've been to court now, 4 times. We're scheduled to appear for mediation next week. The third visit, the court appointed attorney finally showed up. He read me the riot act. He told me I should "go walk in front of a truck!" "Don't you have any friends?" he asked Lately, it don't feel that way! My confidence in him is at an all time low. He told them to take my daughter, "we aren't going to contest this, this is now lack of porch screens type of case!" His secretary is nice, but she has only scheduled me one appointment to talk with him, and that is for two days before the mediation.

I'm feeling better, now it's a few weeks into all this. I saw Erica at court. I hardly recognized her, she has her hair dyed black. She was in tears, and gave me a hug. I'm not supposed to have any contact with her, so I'm confused. I hand her a letter I wrote and restrain myself from getting excited. She walks away, the social worker yanks the letter from her hands before she gets a chance to read it. She gave me a father's day present, and left... She was on the opposite side of the court during the proceedings.

I'm to get a batterer's assessment. My daughter has never been injured by me. I have to go to parenting classes. I still am not allowed any contact with my daughter. We meet again in a week to discuss the charges...

All this psychiatric consultation, it's only about money? God, I hope so! Then there would be a solution. Just throw some money at it! And, I could be done with it!

Well, I'm realizing the state's message is this: you are not allowed to criticize your kid, don't ever raise your voice at them, and god forbid, you should even "think" about smackin' them! You are allowed to only think "happy, happy" thoughts while in your child's presence! A minor, after all, could never do any wrong! And your mental disturbances will most likely rub off on them! So, they should be strictly censored…

You are required to give your child a minimum of three hugs and a dozen compliments a day. Your child had better come before all else! (Or, else!)

If she says "Dad, you need to take me to the mall", you had better be at the car, keys ready, fishing for your wallet, asking "how much do you want, honey?” And, “shall I bring the car around for you, later? At what time, would be convenient for you m'am?"

It doesn't matter that the truck payment is due, along with the bill for her dental work, and the credit she ran up on clothes she didn't need, or that you may be a little short! Dig deep!

And, you had better be doing all this, with a smile! :0)

Should your daughter tell you, she decided to go to the school 25 miles across town. So, she can be with her boy friends. (one of which she just broke up with, the one who is the reason she decided to do the first unsuccessful suicide attempt) When a better one, that she was hot to go to only a month before, is closer. So, you can spend hours driving her to sporting events, or other extra curricular events of her choosing (or just give it up, and let her go unsupervised). You, had better tell her how clever she is, and what a smart decision she made!

If she lies to you about her relation ships, her activities over the Internet, about any adults she has on going relationships with... Well, it's none of your damned business! She has a "right to privacy!" (I don't recall ever seeing that one on the books!)

Should you notice unusual tire tracks in the yard, and strange foot prints, do not even think about inquiring as to "Who was here this after noon, honey?" It only demonstrates that you are paranoid, obviously in need of psychiatric care, and psychotropic medications!

Do not ever inquire as to where strange articles of underwear came from. Which, you would never allow her to purchase.

And, Yes! 17 year old boys, commonly do make $50 gifts to 15 year old girls, when it is not their birthday, or other special event!

"You should be happy, Mr. Johnson, that your daughter hasn't started using drugs, or committed any serious crimes, considering all the crap you put her through!" My lawyer told me.

Ya, right! And monkeys will fly out my butt! Let me bend over so they can see! :0)

Should your daughter attempt suicide, not report it, and lie to you about it, and then report it to social services... You are guilty of gross negligence and mental abuse! This makes you eligible to have your child removed from your home, to protect her from you. Even though, she has already demonstrated that she is the only one dangerous to her self!

Further more, the department of protective services will ask the courts to go directly into your income sources , bypass your choice in the matter (even though your credit is good) to cover any damages we deem appropriate, until the end of your life! You lousy abusive scum bag!

Only the state can determine what is best for your kid. So, if you haven't been to a state sponsored “education program of parenting” that they requested (and of which there is no legal requirement), you have absolutely no rights as a parent. Or, to expect to be treated with any dignity on the matter...

Your children may be seized for any reason the department deems necessary! It then becomes your financial responsibility, to try to get them back. Because, in this day and age you are guilty of any crimes the state accuses you of. And, it remains so, until you have been to a state sponsored psychologist for mental health screening.

You must be cleared for parenting by an approved school, and have proven beyond any reasonable doubt that you are innocent of any crimes, misdemeanors, or insults, your child, any stranger, or anonymous fax, 'suggests' you may have committed upon her.

Or, your child may be removed if the department thinks 'you may' , or 'may be about to' commit any of the above.

"This is only a civil suit, Mr. Johnson! (that is why we brought two squad cars to accompany us, and ask you if you had any weapons in your car while it was on your property, and you were not driving it) Of course we knew you would be unwilling to surrender your social security information, had the kind officers not so ordered it from you!"

"By the way, did you ever say that you wished your daughter were dead? There is no reason to get upset, Mr. Johnson! We are only doing our jobs! We take children from their parents, all the time. It really isn’t a big deal…"

(I heard that Nazi Germany had a similar philosophy, and programs :0) Long live totalitarianism!

Now that they have my attention, and my child...Ya, I could use some help!

“When is the department going to go after her mother for back child support? We asked for assistance with that 10 years ago. Yes, I would like her to have visits with her mother. I think she is upset that mom failed to vist over spring break. When are they going to help me get some sort of reasonable custody agreement worked out?”

“Yes, Being an inexperienced single male parent, I could use some insight into the workings of the teen aged girl's mind! Why are the state's sponsored psychologists the only ones who can give me this information, and no one else? Why is it that it only became important for me to have this information right now? When did their psychology training become a lawful prerequisite to custody?”

“If my daughter is suicidal, and hides it from me, how does that make me negligent? Yes, I could use some help for my daughter's mental health problems! What services should I seek from your department for a suicidal teen? “

“What? You believe that just separating my daughter from me, and placing her at a girl friend's home with her uncertified single mother, is sufficient help? (Hello! Is there something wrong with this picture? Or, is it just me???) Why isn't she on suicide watch? Or, getting a full drug and pregnancy screening? Why is she not placed with a certified foster care family?

The state's official reply: "Now that we have your daughter, we'll get back to you on that! It takes up to three months to work up a foster care plan. It could take up to a year...So, hurry up and seek psychiatric counseling for your self, and take all these classes we have proscribed! (at your own expense, of course!)”

“By the way, it would be really convenient, if you wouldn't bother us with any lawyers you might seek assistance from! “

“And, don't forget to drop off some more clothes at the front desk. You know? The one with the 'community service' helpers manning it... “

“Thank You! Please go away now!"

All said and done, with a very toothy smile, the social worker walked off with a disgusted look on her face. As if, I had been being difficult! I noticed her sharply pull the bottom of her blouse down in front, making it pop, like a disgusted officer on Star Trek might do!

I still have my prayers going, I'm hopping that the judges have more sense than these investigators and social workers do. And I pray, my daughter is not a psychotic mess, when they get through with her!

Following UPDATE submitted on 7/25/02: 

The department is "working towards reunification" story:: This is a copy of some correspondence with a friend:

Ron, About time those turkeys picked up on the truth. Mitch and Joanie (me too) feel you need to sue the adult that put E up to it (getting department of Women and Children involved) for your monetary loss and loss of affection. You need to talk to a good lawyer that handles such cases. Ralph

Hi Ralph,

Those turkeys believed that I was the turkey, all fattened up, and ready for the kill! Erica told them I was psychotic, refusing to go to the VA for treatment, and not taking my medications. Gee, ya think they could have at least made a phone call to the VA to confirm that? :0)

This woman that helped Erica is, no doubt, a nosey busybody. But, I think that she actually helped. She doesn't know anything but what Erica told her. And, that is what she reported. I think it's chicken-shit of her to FAX it anonymously, but that isn't what is damaging. She did get E. some place to get her helped for her psychological problems.

So, I'd have difficulty showing that she damaged me. I still think it's the department, at fault. And, I think they will be, until they return Erica to my home!

Well, I still don't have Erica's deposition tape. I wasn’t invited to attend it. They want to withhold it from me for some reason. My lawyer's secretary seems to think it should be my lawyer's decision weather, or not, I have a copy of it. Don't we have a fundamental right to face our accusers in this country? I guess we don't, not when it is a child involved! When did it become the lawyer's right to decide? (I think my lawyer's secretary needs a kick in the buttocks!) If I had the tape, at least then I could understand what E’s complaint is all about!

E's angry at me. I can't fix that. It can only be fixed with family counseling. (Or, so the social worker thinks. She seems to control a lot more of this whole process, than anyone is letting on.) So, the worker gives me a list of family counselors, and tells me to get help, on my own account. I get to pay. We both get to go. She was even gracious enough to "allow" me to come pick up Erica at Interface, to do the sessions. Well, she also tells me that the counselors must be state certified, but she doesn’t say in what, or if it means that they are just state licensed. The people on her list don't even know what she is asking for!

Also, Interface tells her, "You had better make him clear his visits and pick ups through your office, before you let E. out to go to counseling." I can understand that. I can schedule a fictitious appointment, and then take her to Mc D's. Do they just make up the rules as they go along? (I'm wondering where this Social Worker keeps her brain, when she is not using it! :0)

So, I'm hung up on securing the family counseling, until she clarifies it. In the mean time, home studies are being done in CA at E's mom's house.

I see social services saying one thing, and doing quite another, delaying me just enough to see if they can't place Erica at her mom's. I don't like what I see! In court, there are big pats on the back, and smiley faces. Out of court, there are changes in plans, and delays to the process. Why? So, E can have a vacation at her mom's? I think that will add a lot more confusion to this mess, than it needs! She can work out her differences with her mom, after she has focused on the big problem that landed her at Interface...

Social Services seems to be going out of their way to make Erica comfortable. Why her, and not any of the others? This looks real suspicious to me!

I wish I could sue somebody. But I think the state workers are insulated from prosecution. I think the biggest foul up going on, is at the state level. And, It's the state's rules and regulations that seem to need an overhaul.

My sister keeps telling me about all the horror stories that are involved with FL's dept. of women and children. They keep broadcasting them in Va. (I just realized that it might be the name that is confusing these people… It should be the ‘department of families’, period! Then men aren't the logical and unstated enemy!)

I think the department is guilty of failing to insert brain, before acting on child's complaint! They took E's story at face value. They didn't look into it for the facts.

Well the facts are out, and now the department has egg on their face. But they are still justified in holding Erica. She needs psychological help. She told them she is suicidal. That is what they are holding her for, now. Of course they aren't explaining it that way to me. I'm just the "offending parent"! (That title needs a change now, too. Along with a rewrite of the laws so they can deal with that, when it comes up. They need a way to send the child right back home, immediately, when the parent is found to be not “offending”!)

Mean time, this is going to be listed in the final results as "unfounded". Unfounded cases will still take 6 months, or more, of separation! So a child can be picked up for assistance, separated from her family, and detained, while they verify that it is "unfounded", for 6 months, or more, with out a trial, and with out a court order! The parents can also be denied visitation, or contact, and be ordered into parenting classes, and/or to counseling, because the dept. deems it “necessary”! And all that, on a social worker’s whim!

I’ve also found that the department can be a bit vindictive, using visitation as a ‘carrot and a stick.’ Mine promised me visitation, then rescinded that when she discovered that I was not ”cooperating with the department”. That is, I consulted with my lawyer, and then refused to just turn over my personal documents at her request. Now, how “unfounded” can that get? I’m either a threat to my daughter, or not. And, that should be the sole deciding factor with regard to visitation!

Had the lawyer explained all that, this wonderfully pleasant experience I’m having with the department, to me, on day one, instead of showing up to court late, and giving me the rushed explanation at the temporary shelter hearing, "We can't win this! Just give her to them, and I'll help you get her back..." I'd have said, "No!" Right there, and then.

So, if there is a case or cause for damages... I think the lawyer was in the know on this, and was too busy, or just failed to help me correctly at that time. Or maybe, he is paid better, by the state, to play these child welfare games? He quoted me "$5k, up front, flat fee..." Does the state pay him by the hour? If so, we are really putting in the time on this! (none dare call it a "conspiracy!" :0)

Erica is (I think) cutting herself (allegedly, on two occasions). Supposedly, she did it to get my attention. But, she's not letting me know she did it. Very strange! I would think that she would want me to know, if I'm the reason!) Anyhow, she is using some very bad means to settle her differences. Those means indicate mental problems. For that, she needs help.

So, I'm not really damaged by the woman who sent the anonymous faxes. And, the department needs to help Erica. But, I don't see how they need to keep her separated from me! Only Erica, has been proven to be dangerous, and then, only to herself!

In the mean time, I get to suffer through the process! Why could they not just tell me, "You need to get help for your daughter," and send her home? They can always follow up on it, and can take up custody with the courts at any time. But it seems like, once they got them in their greedy little clutches on the children, they intend to keep them! Are they saying, “Let's keep the easy cases, to justify the budgets, and show we are over worked, and under funded?" I think that needs to be looked into!

They’ve already had Erica for 9 weeks! My next court date is 10 weeks away. That means, no court order to return Erica to my home, at least, not until then. It will be at least 20 weeks, before Erica is returned to my custody! (And we thought we had it resolved!) "Things are moving very quickly, by our terms..." my lawyer's secretary tells me. "Not by my mine! " I tell her. "This whole thing seems a bit insane! The department tells us, “We are going to work towards reunification..." in court… “But, we are going to send E. to CA for a little visit with her mother, first! “ They tell me outside of side of court, (where I can't have the judge think it over). "You need to get family counseling for you and your daughter, before we can consider unsupervised visitation. But, you can do that, after your daughter returns..." They continue...Is there some thing wrong with this picture, or is it just me? God! I hope she does return! :0)

Mean time, Ralph, if you guys can find it in your hearts to forgive Erica her indiscretion, we could use a supervised visit. I think we can get a dinner out approved with you and Joanie. We'd have to get it approved through the dept. and you would have to pick E. up at Interface. I think that would help a lot! But I'd understand, if you need to decline. (My heart is still hurting too!) In any case, I'd still like to take you guys to dinner to the place of your choice, my treat! :0) Let me know what's a good time…

LAteR ON!

Name: Debra Moreland   Location:   Grafton, WV

Email Addr: PoohHug@aol.com

Children/Birth Date: Joshua Moreland age 9; Toby Moreland age 6, and Nina Moreland age 4 (as of July 2002)

Date Separated: February 1,  2002

Yes I have not seen them since the last weekend in February And because I was going through a depression from not having my kid's I am no longer aloud to see them. Their abusive father has them and his lies has caused me the loss of my kid's. 

In my divorce { which was because he left the kid's and me for my own cousin } my lawyer would not fight for me to keep my kid's with me. My husband in June of last year left bruises on two of our three kid's and then left us for my cousin and her two kid's. I turned him in trying to protect my kid's for being abused by him any more. He went and told lies on me and made it look like I abused them when I never did abuse our kid's. This caused me a lot of problems when it came time to go to divorce court. 

The case worker did not even try to find out if what he was saying was true. She just believed him over the truth. She told my lawyer that if he went in and fought for my kid's I would be stripped of my rights to be their mother. He told me the day of court he would not fight for me and made me sign a parent agreement. I called my kid's every night and he didn't like this fact, or the fact he had to bring the kid's to me on my time to visit them and come back to get them. So he went and told the case worker I was filling the kid's heads with things and because I know he drinks and drives with them and was trying to look out for my kid's by calling the cops and asking questions about what I can do to make sure he wasn't drinking when he came to get the kid's.

 I was no longer allowed to call them and only had supervised visits at His dad and mom's. This caused me to go into a really big Depression and I end up signing my self in the hospital twice from it. Now I am not aloud to even see my kids and I am being forced to just let his abuse keep on going. My parents are going to fight for their rights to see my kid's and this case worker is trying to keep them from it. She told me she will see they have no contact with my kid's. 

So I am left doing this about these laws that is to prevent child abuse but is causing it and letting real child abuse keep on going untouched. The facts our like this, our Federal Government coughs up just under $20,000 dollars a year for each child in foster care weather or not they are being abused or not. 192,000 children every weekday is being but in foster care and this don't mean these children are being abused but that Child Protective Services say they are. 8 out of 10 of these children in foster care are being abused and/or killed by their foster parents. This makes them abusing our kid's as well as us parents. If we all got together and fight to have these laws changed or new ones made. 

This may just put a stop to good parents being abused by the system. If you are willing to stand up for your rights contact me and let me know what you are willing to do to help. The other sad fact in all of this is trying to prove you are a good parent. If you can find a lawyer to stand up and fight for you. You will be spending thousands of dollars, and this don't mean you will win. Only that you are spending money to try and prove you are not a bad parent. My email address is PoohHug989@aol.com and my home address is :
48 Sunset Terrace Grafton 
WV 26354.

Its time the system was changed to stop abuse and not do abuse. My Name is Debra Moreland and I am standing up for all parents rights not just my own.

Name: Mike Mates   Location:   Concord, CA

Email Addr: joseph.m.mates@bankofamerica.com

Children/Birth Date: Ryan (1998)

Date Separated: 15 June 2002

My wife convinced the mediator that my "presence in the home" was causing emotional stress for our son and that my son does not think of me as a father, he thinks of me as an "uncle" and I have virtually no relationship with him. These things are completely untrue. In addition I am gainfully employed, have been for 22 years, have no vices, am educated and there has been no physical or emotional abuse. yet the court bought what she said, I have to more out and there has been a "temporary" custody order allowing me to see my son 1 day a week and every other weekend. 

We both have to attend a second custody evaluation paid for by me ($4000). I'm ok with that. Right now I live in OUR home and see him every day morning, night and a tremendous amount of time on the weekend. What is wrong with this picture? My attorney told me today; You lost the first round, move out of the house. My problem, moving out before the second custody evaluation will damage my relationship with my son thus hurting my chances at the second custody evaluation. 

How come a mother is assumed to be a good mother, by virtue of the fact that she is a mother, and a father has to prove he is a good father. I even provide at least 10 letters of reference to the judge and mediator and just just blew it off. Any suggestions. I am contacting a second attorney tomorrow. A "men only" attorney. My current attorney is not the "pit bull" type I need. I don't think she understand men only issues.

Name: Shanda Behl  Location: Portland, OR

Email Addr: hiz_angel@msn.com 

Children/Birth Date: Cameron (2000) 

Date Separated: 06/2002
My son has just turned 2 and is in the custody of his father. I left his dad in April of 2002 due to domestic violence. My son and I stayed where his father could not find us while I got a restraining order. Once that was established, we went to court for dad to have visitation. He was given 2 hours supervised by the court. I was given full custody. At this time, dad decided he wanted his son, but had no grounds for getting custody. In fact, there was a considerable amount going against him at this point. Shortly after, his dad began to threaten me with accusations of MSBP. Remember how I said he had no grounds for being able to get custody? Well, here it was. MSBP! Our son is a special needs child and here was the answer! 

Up until leaving, I had been a stay at home mom virtually. My financial resources had been cut by 95% when I left! Anyways, I had a legal aid lawyer for low income families and that was it. His father told me that if I did not give! up custody to him!, then he would take me to court on the accusation of MSBP. He even got "experts&quote; involved at get financial cost. I have enough evidence and proof that I have not subjected my son to this horrible abuse, but it takes money to get it in court. 

His dad had money and I did not. If I went to court to fight to keep custody, I would have walked out with nothing, not even supervised visits. Not because of guilt, but because I did not have the funding to get the proof of my innocence into court. Legal aid does not pay for subpoenas, expert witnesses, evaluations, testing or anything else. It only covers the number of hours your lawyer puts in, like a mechanic, you pay for the labor and then you pay for parts ,but it is worthless if you do not have the parts and the labor! 

So, in fear of what would happen if I went to court without being able to properly defend myself, I willingly (under duress) signed over custody without ever going to court. Well, we had 2 hearing! s, one was for him! to have visitation, the other was whether or not he had the right to access all my medical records by subpoena. The visitation was supervised for him and he was denied access to my records. 

So, I thought that by giving up custody willingly would be the best choice for these reasons. 

1) If I went to court now, I would have custody taken away for lack of proof of innocence and not have another chance, or 

2) Willingly give up custody, get my ducks in row and go back in prepared. 

It seemed to me that the 2nd option seemed to be the best one. Boy was I wrong! In the end, both options would end up having the same results. He now has custody, and I have supervised visitation and I have no rights and am more worthless now that I was in the beginning. I can not even move to have unsupervised visitation as if I do his father has said that he will then take me to court for termination of parental rights and /or criminal charges. 

It is no longer about what is best for our children, it is now, who has money? Money is deciding where my son lives and what kind of quality of life he will grow with. My hands are tied till a money tree sprouts in my mail box or back yard to hire an attorney that will take this on.

Dear son,
I want you to know, that I love you with all of my heart. You are always with me. My empty arms yearn to hold you. To be able to smell your sweet head and kiss your little toes. I wish I had the words to tell you how much my heart aches for you. No matter what happens, I never want you to doubt my love and desire for you in my life. Nothing and no one will ever be equal in my eyes or in my heart. Whenever you hear the song Amazing Grace or You are my sunshine, please let your heart and spirit remember how you felt when I held you and rocked you to sleep singing......your mommy

Name: Wendy Miller   Location: Angie, LA

E-Mail Address: ncoolmaw@wmconnect.com

Children/Birth Date: Koby Miller (2000) & Kaitlin Miller (2001)

Date Separated: 11/2001

One night in November, 2001 my one-month-old baby girl, Kaitlin, stopped breathing while in the arms of my husband, Brian. I was in the bedroom with my little boy, Koby, about twenty feet down the hallway from where Brian was trying to get Kaitlin to sleep. She had been pretty irritable all night with what we thought was a stomachache. I heard Kaitlin crying as I was clipping Koby’s fingernails, and I heard her when she stopped crying. I thought nothing of it; I just thought she had cried herself to sleep. It was at that point that my husband carried her back to the bedroom where I was to tell me that she felt funny. When I observed her, it was obvious something was very wrong, and this is when my worst nightmare began. 

I frantically called 911 and told them to send an ambulance immediately. I then called my dad who lives about 100 yards from our house and told him something was wrong with Kaitlin. Brian had already started giving Kaitlin some rescue breaths while I was on the phone. As soon as my dad arrived, he and Brian began CPR. Kaitlin had begun faintly crying when the ambulance arrived about 20 minutes later. My dad met the paramedic at the door where he handed Kaitlin over and the man laid her on an adult sized stretcher and instructed me to sit in the front seat. The ambulance drove away with my little girl, totally unrestrained, and then proceeded to the end of the road where the driver slammed on breaks to avoid a collision with a Sheriff’s deputy. She was rushed to Riverside Hospital in Franklinton by the way of rural roads. The paramedic attempted to start an IV in Kaitlin’s foot, but failed. When we arrived at the hospital, Kaitlin was stable and the ER team began tests. 

After being in the ER for a couple of hours, they admitted her into a regular room, but still had not made a diagnosis. They mentioned sepsis and reflux apnea as possible diagnoses. The next morning her doctor examined her and was considering sending her home but after conferring with the pediatrician decided to transfer her to Children’s Hospital for precautionary reasons. The doctor also said they would teach us to use an apnea monitor. 

On the way to Children’s Hospital, Kaitlin began having seizures. Once she was admitted to Children’s, she began seizing more frequently so they sent her to Pediatric ICU. We were not given any information on Kaitlin’s condition, just that it was grave. 

The next day a Washington Parish OCS investigator and a forensic pediatrician, Dr. Scott Benton were questioning us about what had happened. We answered all of their questions very honestly and cooperated whole-heartedly; however, it didn’t make any difference. In their minds, they already knew what had happened, and it was at this point that we realized that Brian was being accused of child abuse. Dr. Benton labeled my husband from the very beginning saying that because he was young, unemployed, and former military, he fit the profile of a child abuser perfectly. While we were trying to digest that, they also told us that they wanted to perform a range of tests on our son, then 16 months old, for a sibling comparison in which he would have to be put to sleep. The tests on my son were to be performed in Franklinton so if I wanted to be with him that meant I would have to leave my little girl. All of the tests on Koby came back fine, but we were still told that we! were not to be alone with our son. 

After three weeks in Children’s Hospital, Kaitlin was released, but not to the loving and comforting hands of her parents. OCS had decided to take custody of both of our children and placed them with my mom and dad. Since then, my husband and I have been allowed liberal visitation but an adult must supervise us at all times. We have both cooperated to the fullest extent with law enforcement and OCS. Brian has been before a Grand Jury who passed a “No True Bill”. We’ve been told by our caseworker that the department believes the only reason Brian was not prosecuted is because there was political influence by my dad on the Assistant DA, which makes absolutely no sense. Regardless, the Assistant DA has decided to override the Grand Jury and prosecute Brian anyway. We have been to see two doctors with our caseworker, which have disputed some of Dr. Benton’s theories. Both times after the appointments, OCS arranged meetings with Dr. Benton and the disputing doctors. The doctors now deny ever telling us anything that disputed Dr. Benton’s theories. Our case worker has even told us and one of the doctors that she is not totally convinced that Brian abused Kaitlin and that she didn’t agree with the recommendation that she was going to give in court but that if she didn’t give that recommendation she would be fired. OCS has also been using me to try to get a confession from Brian. I have been told that unless I convict and divorce my husband, I will never get my kids back. My parents have also felt threatened by OCS. OCS has said that because my parents do not believe that Brian abused Kaitlin they too are potentially a threat to the safety of my kids; and, therefore, my children could be placed in foster care. 

My husband has been very adamant that he did not harm our little girl, but OCS just keeps telling us that until they know what happened we will never get our kids back. OCS has said that they do not believe that I did anything to Kaitlin, but because they do not know exactly what happened, I am a threat to my kids’ safety. I have been in counseling for ten months. Brian has also been through counseling but has been told that unless he makes a confession, there is no reason for him to be counseled any further. Both of the counselors were hired by OCS. They want my husband to make a confession to something that he did not do and even then we are not guaranteed that we will ever get our kids back. We have explained every detail to the best of our recollection of that horrible night to law enforcement, OCS, a grand jury, and a judge. We have waived all of our rights to testify. We have completely cooperated with everything anyone has asked of us. OCS has even told! us that there is nothing short of a confession that we can do to end this mess and get our kids back. 

In October, 2002, we attended a hearing in which the judge decided to give legal guardianship of my children to my parents. At that same hearing we also found out that my husband was being charged with second degree cruelty to a juvenile. We have hired separate attorneys now, but they haven’t been able to do anything for us. At Brian’s pre-trial hearing the attorney told us that after speaking with the prosecutor and the trial judge neither believe the allegations against my husband. The prosecutor has also told my husband’s attorney that the DA’s office does not want to prosecute this case, but they have to satisfy OCS. I ask, “Who’s running the show here?” but I think the answer is obvious. I understand the reason why OCS got involved in this case, but they have taken this too far. Something has to be done. My daughter is now 18 months old and my son is almost 3 years old. Both children are very healthy, and we are all managing the situation the best we can. My biggest fear is that by the time my children get to come home, if ever, they will not want to anymore. I could not handle that since my children are my whole life. This has caused strained relations between my husband and me, my parents, and both of our families. All I want is my family.

Name: Rosemary Baker  Location:  Charleston, IL

E-Mail Address: roscart@yahoo.com

Child/Birth Date: Oscar (12), Kyle (10), Jacob (8)

Date Separated: 1/19/03

After a 2 month Mental Health Evaluation I will be allowed a supervised visit. Given the judge agrees, My Ex-husband is a clinical Psychologist which in court with no evidence was allowed to diagnose me. This is completely illegal considered these facts, I am not crazy, 1, he is my ex-husband 2,he has not done an evaluation, 3, has not lived with us for past 2 years, 4, he has a financial investment in this. 4, biased. The judge allowed this even after DCFS found it unfounded, the witness to an incident that never happened was paid by him. I had 5 neighbor witnesses. Yet i was taken to court unable to afford a lawyer, could not receive financial help because i owned a house. (no longer)

In my original divorce decree I was awarded full custody of my three boys, visitation with father was every other weekend and wed. 5-8 pm, My children are terrified of their father. He is a master a manipulation and intimidation. obviously because he has had great influence over agencies that should be aware of people like this, I have found the true meaning of the cliche "money talks", His family is quite wealthy. unfortunately I was warned if I left him I would walk away with nothing, and after his final attack that is exactly what has happened, I now no longer have my children, my home, money, and soon my sanity, I desperately need somebody to help me who can make a difference.

 My case is classical of a psychologist who gets what he wants and knows how to get it. he has the influence of organization which he words with, and now I have no power to fight him. he knew exactly how to arrange this and has succeeded. I would love to write every detail yet that would shock  most all of you. If there is anybody who thinks they could help me I will be glad to express every detail. I need a lawyer who is willing to begin without a upfront retainer, After a year and 1/2 My ex-husband has not signed a form which allows my half of our retirement to be issued to me. The judge ordered this yet he tells me I need a lawyer to enforce this. obscured is't he in contempt of court? With this money I will easily afford an excellent lawyer, He could first enforce this ruling and the money will be available within 2 weeks. There is the retainer. Then proceed vigorously to get my kids back to me. Where they want and need to be. please help, I can't keep waiting and trying I need help now. I beg somebody to help us.